Saturday, August 1, 2009

for M.E.

not quite of this world's culture,
many moments lived locked in the wardrobe of other’s reality
she holds herself.

even in her imagination
she's losing the warmth of light.

but they'll bring it soon ...
        she hopes ...

and they come. for moments. 
they feed off her smile, innocence, laughter
depositing feather tokens for admittance:
all she asks, not requires.

high cheekbones and dandelion laughter,
stories that entrance with captivating enthusiasm
she is their youth.
        carefree days before they
        were locked into -       
        laws, habits, commitments,
        futures, addictions-
         life.

they've forgotten, then too they cried,
as if sorrow were some new technology.
    then they cried ... as does she
                waking wet
              only
        she lacks anyone to comfort her.

Beautiful ones are often lonely.

she weaves a tale or two
and as she weaves,
she watches them
       cloaked tightly in well-thought-out plans,
        each breath heavier with anticipation for
        the next than with gratitude for the last.
        each moment a stepping stone
        towards the one that follow,
        lacking significance of its own.
 
 she wonders: do I, can I fit in their world?

But by the time she’s gained courage enough to ask
     they already gone,
     plans again in hand,
     preparing for their long journey back to real society.

left again in darkness
her memory clenches the image reflected in their eyes -
        cloudy and distorted, they are her only mirror.

she is reconciled:
only beautiful ones are part of their world.
and beauty is not her name.

if she could dance naked under palm trees
and see her image in the river
   she would know ...
    [1]  
She would know.

be  bum.
be  -  be  -  be,
                       beeee buummm

from a memory she can no longer place
                             the blues of broken jazz
                                lull her to sleep.

~2000


[1]Lyrics from Images  (1964) Nina Simone, Waring Cuney

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