Response to an "affirmation"/saying I've seen one too many times

"Single doesn't mean lonely. Single means you are preparing for the arrival of a better love."

[A re-post of my commentary on this from a friend's wall]:

I know these sayings are well-meaning. But while single can definitely mean getting ready for some (not for all) ... sometimes that process IS lonely. And to deny that is not only fallacious - it's disheartening in that we feel compelled to treat loneliness as if it has to be a reluctant admission/confession rather than a simple statement of our feelings - the way we say we're happy/angry/tired/bored/ecstatic... I look forward to the day when we can say and acknowledge that fact without it being seen as an issue of shame/guilt. We have a right to feel lonely; it doesn't make us pitiful or in any way lacking. There has to be a space, we have to GIVE ourselves space, to hold all of our feelings, in all their shades & complexities & nuances, without pretense or diminishment. It *does* get lonely ... *lonely* some time. But experiencing loneliness isn't an indictment on having a full life - they aren't mutually exclusive. More importantly, until we can acknowledge and INSIST on that fact, being uncoupled (un-partnered, not yet engaged/married, divorced, etc.) will continue to be marginalized and relegated to a second-class, subordinate position (and we single folks will be complicit in perpetuating that marginalization). Being single is a state of being just as legitimate & valuable as being coupled (in any form) - whether it's temporary or permanent, by circumstance or choice.

So ... here's to being single (for now or forever), having a full life AND feeling moments of loneliness and yearning for the multiple ways that life will continue to grow in its expanse (stepping down from my soapbox - thanks for the motivation to respond Maya Kennard)